I am a firm believer that the only reason for the existence of Netflix was to watch The Office on repeat. It’s ok if you don’t like the show. A lot of people are wrong about a lot of things, and we still love them. One of my favorite episodes is the one where Dwight conducts a fire drill to test the preparedness of his fellow coworkers. He locks all the doors, starts a small fire in a trash can, and as smoke fills the office, pure chaos ensues. Things start off relatively calm with the characters testing doors and trying to remember what they were supposed to do in an event of an emergency. It quickly turned dark, however, when burning to death seemed imminent. The characters began busting out windows, climbing up into the ceiling, even looting the vending machines all while Dwight calmly walked through the chaos giving instructions that no one could hear.
Obviously, The Office is a ridiculous sitcom, full of unrealistic events. However, the chaos in the episode with the fire drill feels so familiar with what we have experienced and keep experiencing. We have seen everything from murder hornets to snow storms on the beaches of Texas, and this past week when my phone told me to seek shelter from a tornado on a beautiful cloudless day in March, I almost did it because it made sense. And yet, the question is how do we navigate all the chaos and instability with the kind of calm that Dwight modeled in the middle of the fire drill? In Psalm 131, King David writes a song that speaks to this exact question, and he presents three things to consider in order to find stability in an unstable world. He presents what not to do, what to do, and the motivation for each.
David begins by saying “My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.” (Psalm 131:1 NIV) translation - I DON’T try to control what isn’t mine to control. According to the Bible, David was a young man who was told he would be king 10 long years before he ever became king. For 10 years, he was slandered, he was oppressed, he was cheated, he was manipulated, he was used, and most of it by the guy he was supposed to replace. There were many times David could have taken the crown by force, many times he could have gotten angry, many times he could have given up, and yet he had a belief that said I am humble enough to know that I don’t have the whole picture. David knew that some things were “too wonderful” for him to understand, so he decided not to try to control what wasn’t his to control.
There have been so many times throughout my life that I have wondered, “what the heck is going on?” I have experienced disruptions, sickness, manipulation, and other things that have tempted me to simply be angry at God and the world and give up. Let’s get political for a second . . . no matter what side of the isle you're on, there has been and continues to be anger and frustration with where our country has been and is headed. There is so much corruption and oppression in our world, and even those who should be our role models all too often prove to be monsters. Hear me when I say, we should be angered by injustice and oppression. When we see life being devalued, whether that is black or white, mother or unborn, American or other, gay or straight, Republican or Democrat, we should rise up. However, we should respond with the knowledge and freedom to know it is not up to us to FIX everything that is broken. Another familiar Bible verse puts it this way “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. (Psalm 127:1)” So, speak up, stand against injustice, get involved with the knowledge that there are some things that you may not understand, and that’s ok. Don’t try to control what isn’t yours to control.
Next, David continues by saying “But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.” (Psalm 131:2 NIV) translation - I DO pay attention to and attend to my internal needs. According to the Bible, David was a warrior from the earliest of ages, spending long periods of time by himself in the wilderness as a shepherd. During those times he killed lions and bears to protect his sheep. Later, he killed a giant who was taunting his people with a slingshot, which then propelled him into military service. It is David, this warrior who is describing his internal world as a weaned child, a child who is being provided for in the most tender of ways when they are most vulnerable. First of all, this comes across to me as a little strange, but the more I set with it, it is so life-giving and freeing.
During these unstable times, we all have feelings. We feel sad about missed opportunities, birthday parties reduced to signs in the yard, wedding plans that turned into a small gathering in the living room, or even loved ones dying alone. We feel angry about the restrictions imposed on us, or by the lack of restrictions others are following. We feel confused by the contradictory facts that are thrown out by so called experts, or by the different opinions regarding education or vaccines. All too often, our reaction to these feelings can range anywhere from hot tempered reactions to minimizing and watching one more episode of The Office on Netflix. David offers us another option. What if, instead of simply reacting, or ignoring, we treat our feelings with curiosity, in the same way we treat a crying baby with curiosity. If you’ve had kids, or watched kids at any point in time, you probably remember trying to comfort a crying baby who can’t communicate their needs. If you aren’t sleep deprived and are in your right mind, you most likely went through a process of discovery. You sniff their diaper to see if they are wet or dirty. You make a bottle to see if they are hungry. You move through a checklist with curiosity wondering what needs are causing the reaction you are seeing, and David says THAT IS WHAT I DO FOR MY INTERNAL SELF. When I feel something, I don’t push it down, I don’t pretend it isn’t there, I don’t react without first being curious, I attend to myself with compassion, curiosity and understanding. In the same way that a crying child will calm down when they are attended to by a compassionate caregiver, our internal world will likewise calm down when we respond in kind.
Lastly, David gives the motivation behind his actions, “Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 131:3 NIV) David’s motivation behind not trying to control his current situation or future position is motivated by a belief that God can be trusted. His motivation behind attending to his own internal needs with compassion is the belief that God can be trusted to meet those needs. There is a reason why those who move through the Alcoholics Anonymous program are encouraged to believe in something greater than themselves, and I believe it is because without that belief, we are left to our own devices. Without this trust in God, we are left with the responsibility to fix our world, or try to control outcomes. We are left to rise and fall with our chosen political party, and being curious about what we feel doesn’t matter. As David implies throughout this Psalm, our ability to walk with stability rests on our belief that there is freedom in acknowledging and releasing that which we can’t control. There is freedom in acknowledging the things which occur inside of us and attending to our feelings with compassion and curiosity, and that freedom and consequent stability is made possible by a belief in a good God who can be trusted.
So, as we walk through the craziness of 2021, as we wrestle with our beliefs about vaccines, as we prepare ourselves for whatever literal or figurative storms may be on our horizon, I believe that we can walk with stability. Like Dwight navigating the chaos of the fire drill, it is possible for us to navigate the chaos of our lives when we DON’T try to control what is not ours to control and when we DO attend to our internal needs, all with the knowledge that there is a God who CAN be trusted.
By Luke Hettinger, Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist/Restorative Mentor