Most, if not all of us, have experienced loneliness at some point in our lives. Social isolation brought about by Covid-19 has increased feelings of loneliness among many. While the world around us is somewhat getting back to “normal,” the effects of loneliness still linger. Loneliness is not a new concept, however. Even King David described loneliness in Psalm 142:4, saying “Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.”
While many of us have experienced it, we might not all know what to do with it.
The first step to overcome loneliness is to examine your feelings. Loneliness occurs when one feels alone, not necessarily when one is physically alone. One can feel lonely in a crowd of people. On the other hand, one might not feel lonely at all in social isolation. Common feelings that accompany loneliness include sadness, emptiness, aloneness, and feeling unwanted or abandoned. If you can relate with any of the feelings listed above, know you are not alone in these feelings of loneliness. Many people have experienced or are experiencing the same thing.
The next step to overcome loneliness is to increase connection. Two of our most basic needs include connection and belonging. Therefore, it is crucial to maintain connection when facing loneliness. The God of the universe wants to rescue you and connect with you, as King David described in Psalm 142:6. He hears you and wants to set you free from the bondage of loneliness. Prayer and meditation are excellent ways to strengthen your connection with God. In addition, we have been created as social beings and need a community. One way to get involved with your community is to strengthen existing relationships, such as with friends and family. Pick up the phone or schedule a coffee date! This does not have to be complex. Other ways to get involved include attending Church, volunteering, or joining a support group.
Lastly, be gentle with yourself. The emotions you are experiencing are valid. It can feel shameful and scary to experience these emotions, but I encourage you to approach these emotions in a gentle and curious way. Take time to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally as you go through this process.
It is important to note that experiences of rejection from past relationships can further complicate loneliness. For some, reaching out can be scary, and that’s okay!
Loneliness is difficult, to say the least. If you are experiencing loneliness, know that we at Restore Counseling are here for you. We understand the complexity of loneliness, and are more than happy to provide you with the kindness and support you deserve.
By Allison Griffin, Provisional Licensed Professional Counselor